


One Moment in Time

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-08-18
Updated: 2000-08-18
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:02:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11128359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray and Fraser confront Ray's blindness.This story is a sequel toCity of Dreams.





	One Moment in Time

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
  


Due South and all of its characters belong to Alliance Communications.

 

A fifth part to my  Love in the Light series. Follows Light and Darkness, Shades of Grey, The Power of Love and City of Dreams. Enjoy!

 

Views to:

Story page: http://users4.50megs.com/callie

  
  
  
  
ONE MOMENT IN TIME

by Callie  


**"One must learn to love and go through a good deal of suffering**

**to get to it..... and the journey is always towards the other..** "

**(D. H. Lawrence 1885-1930)**

  
  
Sergeant Benton Fraser turned on his side. Balancing himself on his elbow he gazed down at his sleeping partner; Ray was lying on his back, one arm flung across his forehead. For the first time in a month Ray looked peaceful in his slumber, the nightmares of his attack finally starting to fade. Ray's thin face still looked pale, and Fraser knew that his injured side was still giving him some pain.

The partners were staying with Lieutenant Welsh and his wife while Ray underwent a series of rigorous tests and scans in preparation for the possible surgery to his eyes.

Fraser frowned to himself; he couldn't help feeling worried about his partner. He had been a bundle of nervous energy ever since the doctor had arranged for him to see the consultant who was performing pioneering surgery in ophthalmology. Ray was so excited about the thought of seeing again that he had ignored the possibility that the operation might not be successful. Fraser had tried to talk to him about it, but Ray had waved aside his concerns with a happy smile. Not wanting to upset his partner, Fraser had remained silent, keeping his fears to himself.

Ray stirred, turning on his side. He moaned softly in his sleep. Fraser stroked his hair gently. Ray moaned again slowly opening his eyes; he turned onto his back, his hand moving unconsciously to his injured side.

"Ray," Fraser whispered stroking his face. "Is your side troubling you?"

Ray shifted slightly wincing. "Hurts a bit," he admitted turning his head towards Fraser.

"I'll get your pills," Fraser went to get up.

"Nah. Don't go," Ray said grabbing for Fraser's hand. "Please."

"Ray," Fraser scolded.

"Please," Ray stubbornly held onto Fraser's hand. "I'll be fine. Give me a minute. Just stay here," he pleaded.

Fraser lay back down on the bed gently pulling his lover towards him. "Alright," he whispered caressing Ray's face and hair. "If you insist." Fraser knew that touch was important to his partner, smiling to himself as Ray leaned into the caress.

"Love ya," Ray mumbled sleepily. "Gonna see ya soon."

Fraser brushed his lips softly over Ray's. "I love you Ray. Very much," he said. "Now go back to sleep."

"Yes Mum," Ray teased closing his eyes, losing his battle to keep awake cuddling close to Fraser's warmth.

**************

  
  


Fraser woke early. Checking that Ray was still sleeping, he slipped out of the room to take a quick shower. 

Standing in the shower letting the cool water beat down on his skin, he allowed his thoughts to turn to their life together. Fraser was blissfully happy, and he loved Ray more than anything in the world. Ray had rescued him from his lonely existence, bringing love, affection and laughter into his life. It didn't matter to Fraser that Ray couldn't see him; he knew deep in his heart that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Ray. A warm feeling enveloped him, and he grinned foolishly to himself. 

Grabbing a towel, Fraser stepped out of the shower and started to dry himself. A frown creased his face; the consultant would be giving them the results of the tests and scans that afternoon. He hoped for Ray's sake that it was good news. Fraser dismissed the nagging worries and doubts from his mind. Wrapping the towel around his hips, he went to wake Ray.

"Hi ya Ben," Ray beamed at Fraser as he heard him enter the bedroom. Ray was sitting up in bed, the pillows behind his back.

"Good morning Ray," Fraser leaned forward kissing Ray gently on the lips. "How do you feel this morning?" Fraser sat on the edge of the bed studying his partner carefully. Ray's face was still pale, but the blue sightless eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"Good," Ray replied pulling Fraser closer to him. "I'm good." The partners leaned in to each other. "Welsh here?" Ray asked against Fraser's lips.

"No. I heard him leave," Fraser responded. "And Mrs. Welsh told me last night that she was going shopping with her sister. There's no-one in the house except us."

Ray flung the blanket off himself revealing his nakedness causing Fraser to growl with longing. "Good," Ray said claiming Fraser's lips in a passionate kiss. Fraser moaned as Ray slipped his tongue into his mouth exploring. Fraser ran his hands up and down Ray's arms as he thrust his tongue into Ray's mouth, their tongues duelling. Ray moved his hand downwards massaging Fraser's growing erection through the fluffiness of the towel. 

"Ray," Fraser breathed as he thrust his hips upwards. Fraser claimed Ray's lips hungrily pushing the slender man down onto the bed, his towel dropping to the floor. Straddling him, Fraser ran his hands up and down Ray's body, careful of his healing wound. He leaned his head forward licking and sucking at Ray's nipples until they were hard. Ray moaned with pleasure at the sensation.

"Need to see ya," Ray murmured lifting his slender hands up to Fraser's face. His finger tips traced a path over the now familiar features. "Yer so beautiful," he breathed as he ran his fingers down Fraser's face, across his cheeks trailing his thumbs along Fraser's lips. "Gonna see ya for real soon."

"I love you," Fraser smiled taking Ray's fingers, he kissed them one by one. He let go of Ray's hand moving his lips to his lover's neck licking up and down. He bit down gently on the pale shoulder marking Ray as his. Ray moaned thrusting his cock up against Fraser's thigh. 

Ray arched his back off the bed as Fraser moved his hand grasping his erection stroking gently up and down the length. "Oh God Ben. Love ya too," he murmured against Fraser's neck. He ran his hands up and down Fraser's back massaging gently as Fraser stroked his cock. 

Fraser brought his hands up to Ray's head, softly caressing his hair and face. He claimed Ray's lips once again in a passionate kiss. Fraser shifted slightly so that their cocks were touching. Both men moaned in ecstasy as they began to rub their erections together causing a heavenly friction. They thrust their tongues in and out of each other's mouths, sucking and nipping as they ground their cocks against one another. Whispering each other's names, they caressed the other's body lovingly filling the small room with the sounds of their love making. 

Ray arched his back off the bed as he felt his balls tighten. He cried out as he came long and hard spurting his semen between their sweat sheened bodies. Seeing Ray come sent Fraser over the edge; he moaned with pleasure as his penis pulsed, his semen mingling with Ray's between their bodies. Both men panted hard trying to regain their breath. Fraser rolled onto his side, pulling Ray with him.

"Love ya," Ray breathed kissing Fraser lightly.

Fraser reached up to caress Ray's face softly. "I love you too," he whispered pulling Ray into a gentle embrace.

Ray wriggled in the embrace. "Hey Ben. How are we gonna explain the sheets to Welsh?" he giggled.

"Oh dear," Fraser sighed.

  
  
*************

  


The partners spent the rest of the morning cuddled together in bed content in each other's company. Fraser eventually coaxed Ray out of bed and into the shower. Mrs. Welsh had kindly lent them her car, and Fraser had then driven Ray to the hospital; they were now sitting in the surgeon's office. 

"What's taking him so long?" Ray asked impatiently fidgeting in his chair.

Fraser took hold of Ray's hand squeezing it gently. "Be patient Ray. I'm sure he won't be long," Fraser replied.

Ray's reply was interrupted by the door opening. Doctor Wright entered the room, a file under his arm. He nodded to Fraser as he moved towards his desk. Seeing the look on the doctor's face, Fraser tightened his grip on Ray's hand.

"What?" Ray whispered turning his blind eyes towards Fraser.

"Nothing," Fraser lied squeezing Ray's hand again.

"Good afternoon Ray," Doctor Wright said. "How are you feeling today?"

Ray turned from looking at Fraser smiling in the direction of the kindly voice. "I'm fine," he replied. "Ben's been taking good care of me."

Doctor Wright opened the file in front of him. "I'm sure he has," he smiled warmly at Fraser.

"So. How did I do? What do the tests say?" Ray asked ever impatient. "When can I have the operation?"

The doctor sighed shutting the file. He moved around the desk perching on the edge in front of Ray. Sensing that the doctor was close, Ray smiled at him eager to hear the results of his tests. "I have studied the results of your tests very carefully Ray. And I am sorry to say that I think that the damage to your optic nerves are just too severe," Doctor Wright said quietly. "I don't think an operation would help."

Ray stared towards the doctor, biting at his bottom lip. "But yer doing that ..... that pioneering stuff," he muttered. 

Doctor Wright glanced at Fraser who remained silent, holding Ray's hand tightly. "Ray. I don't think the new techniques we have developed would help in your case," he said. "The beating you suffered did irreparable damage to the nerves. The scans show that some areas around the nerves are completely dead. I really wish I had more encouraging news for you."

"So. I'll be blind like...... like forever?" Ray asked desperately trying to stifle the threatened tears.

"Yes Ray," the doctor put his hand on Ray's shoulder. "I'm very sorry."

Ray pulled his hand away from Fraser. He stood up offering the hand to the doctor. "Thanks," he said. 

The doctor took the offered hand shaking it. "I'm really sorry Ray," he repeated.

"Not yer fault," Ray shrugged turning to make his way towards the door. In his haste to leave the doctor's office, he walked into a coffee table he had forgotten was there. He stumbled forwards cursing under his breath. Fraser hurried over to help Ray grabbing his elbow. Ray glared at him angrily jerking his arm away. "I can manage," he muttered straightening up and moving to the door. He fumbled for the door handle. "Don't fuss."

Fraser turned to Doctor Wright. "Thank you kindly," he said as he followed Ray out of the door. The doctor sighed sadly as he watched the two men leave his office.

  


**************

  


The journey back to the Lieutenant Welsh's house was silent. Ray leaned his head against the window staring distractedly ahead. Fraser glanced at his lover from time to time; he could see that Ray was trying to hold back his tears. Fraser felt totally helpless not knowing what to do or say to ease his lover's obvious misery. 

Ray had been through so much in the past year struggling to come to terms with his blindness. He had bravely overcome his disability gradually becoming more confident of his abilities. Fraser was worried that Ray would retreat once again into the black depression that had gripped him after the attack. 

Fraser carefully parked Mrs. Welsh's car in the driveway. Ray remained staring out of the window. Slipping out of the driver's seat, Fraser hurried around to help Ray out of the car. Ray took his arm without argument, and Fraser led him towards the house. Once inside the house, Ray dropped Fraser's arm reaching for the stair rails. Lieutenant Welsh and his wife came out of the living room; Fraser shook his head at them as he followed Ray up the stairs to the guest room.

Fraser took a deep breath before entering the bedroom; Ray was laying on the bed hugging a pillow tightly to his slender body. Fraser sat down on the edge of the bed. "Ray," he said, reaching out to stroke his partner's face tenderly.

Ray buried his head into the pillow. "Don't. Just don't," he muttered. "I should have ..... have listened to ya. Ya....ya tried to tell me not to get....get my hopes up. I should have listened to... to ya." Fraser remained silent gently stroking the back of the blonde head. Ray's slender body began to tremble uncontrollably as he began to sob into the pillow. "I just.....just wanted to.... to see ya," he cried. 

"Oh Ray," Fraser pulled Ray into his arms holding him tightly. He bit his lip trying to stifle his own tears. "Ssshh. It's alright," he soothed as he rubbed Ray's back. "It's alright."

"Yer so beautiful. And....and I wanted to see .....see ya," Ray choked turning his blind eyes up towards Fraser. "I hate not being able .... able to see ya. I hate being in the ..... the dark all the time."

"I know," Fraser rocked Ray gently back and forwards whispering soothing words trying to pacify his partner. Fraser held Ray tightly until the slender man slumped exhausted in his arms, his tears spent. Fraser carefully lay Ray back on the bed, covering him with a blanket. He continued stroking the pale face with the back of his hand watching as Ray slept. 

"Benton," Ellen Welsh whispered from her position at the door. "Can I get you some tea?"

Fraser smiled at the older woman. "I'll come down," he said. He leant forward kissing Ray lightly on the forehead. "I'll be back in a while," Fraser whispered. Making sure the blanket was tucked snugly around his partner, he tiptoed out of the bedroom.

  


**************

 

Fraser joined the lieutenant and his wife in their living room. "How is he?" Welsh asked concern in his voice. "I take it that the news from the hospital wasn't good?" 

"Cried himself to sleep," Fraser murmured sitting down in an armchair. He took the offered cup of tea from Ellen Welsh. "I'm afraid that Doctor Wright feels that an operation wouldn't help in Ray's case," Fraser replied. "He says that the damage caused by the beating is too severe."

"Poor Ray," Ellen said. "He must feel so disappointed. And he was so excited." 

Fraser looked down studying his boots. "I was afraid this would happen. And I don't know what to do," he murmured. "I don't know how to help him through this."

Ellen got up and moved over towards Fraser perching on the arm of the chair. She put her arm around the Mountie's shoulder. "Benton. You love him, and he loves you," she said. "You will find a way to help him. You did before." Fraser looked up at the kind woman smiling his thanks.

Welsh got to his feet. "How about a walk? Might help you clear your head," he suggested.

Fraser hesitated looking towards the stairs. Ellen patted his arm. "Don't worry. I'll keep an eye on Ray for you," she promised. "A walk will do you good."

"Thank you kindly," Fraser said as he got to his feet following Lieutenant Welsh out of the living room.

  


**************

  


Ellen Welsh checked on her guest; Ray had kicked the blanket off as he had rolled onto his back. She pulled the blanket over him again, gently tucking it around his thin frame. Ray mumbled in his sleep as Ellen touched his face lightly before leaving the room.

She liked Ray and Fraser very much, and knew that her husband was extremely fond of both men; treating them like the sons they had never had. Ellen knew that most people would be disgusted by a relationship such as theirs, but she could tell that they loved each other very much; it shone outwards from them surrounding them, protecting them from those who would condemn their love as abhorrent. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. Ellen hurried down the stairs opening the door with a smile. Francesca Vecchio was standing on the door step. "Hi Mrs. Welsh," she said. "Is Fraser in?" 

"No. He went for a walk with Harding," Ellen motioned the young woman into the house directing her towards the living room. 

"Oh," Francesca looked disappointed. "I thought he might like to go to a movie tonight with me."

"They'll be back soon," Ellen said smiling. "But I'm not sure that Benton will want to go to a movie. Ray has had a bit of a bad day. And I think he'll want to stay with him."

Francesca frowned. "Lucky for Ray that Frase is a defender of lost causes," she said grinning. "Must be really hard for him. Having the responsibility of looking after a blind person."

Ellen studied the young woman in front of her as Francesca babbled on about the Mountie, and how she much had always liked him hoping one day that he would return her feelings. Ellen doubted very much that Francesca knew the true nature

of Fraser's relationship with Ray. Ellen decided to keep quiet; instead she smiled. "I am quite sure that Benton doesn't regard Ray as a lost cause. I think he cares a great deal about him," she said.

"Whatever," Francesca said waving her hand in the air dismissively. "Frase was always a sucker for a hard luck case. A sort of champion of lost causes," she giggled.

Ellen looked up seeing Fraser standing behind Francesca, the expression on his face cold. "How about some tea?" Ellen offered trying to change the subject wondering how long he had been standing there.

"God I couldn't live with Ray," Francesca babbled on oblivious to Fraser standing in the doorway. "He'd drive me crazy. He's probably ten times worse than he was." Ellen tried to steer Francesca towards the kitchen. "You know now he can't see. Bet he has Frase running around after him. Poor old Frase. I feel sorry for him."

"Actually Ray is no trouble whatsoever," Fraser said making Francesca jump at his voice. "He is extremely independent despite his blindness. And there is no reason for you to feel sorry for me."

Francesca turned to the Mountie smiling seductively not noticing the iciness in the tone of his voice. "Hi ya Frase," she cooed.

"Good evening Francesca," Fraser replied politely. "Please continue with what you were saying." Fraser glared at Francesca making her shift uncomfortably.

Francesca blushed disconcerted by Fraser's stare. "I was just telling Mrs. Welsh how difficult Ray can be," she offered. "And how....how hard it must be for you."

"I see," Fraser nodded his expression remaining frosty. 

Welsh shot a look at his wife. "I'll just go and check on Ray," Ellen said retreating with her husband to the safety of the kitchen.

Francesca smiled nervously at Fraser. "So. Frase," she said. "I came to see if you would you like to come to a movie with me tonight? My treat."

Fraser hesitated for a moment. "No Francesca. I would not like to go to a movie with you tonight or any other night for that matter," Fraser replied. "I will be staying here with Ray tonight."

Francesca pulled a face. "Jeez Frase. Aren't you taking this best friend thing a bit too far?" she replied grinning. "I'm sure Ray won't mind."

Fraser stepped towards the small woman. "Francesca. Close your eyes tightly," he instructed. Francesca grinned at the Mountie closing her eyes leaning forward expectantly. "Now kindly walk towards the door with your eyes closed."

"Frase," Francesca protested.

"Humour me," Fraser insisted.

"OK," Francesca shrugged. "But only because you asked me nicely." She moved forwards slowly; after three paces she ran into the coffee table knocking her shins hard against the glass top. "Damn," she cursed opening her eyes immediately and rubbing her legs. "You coulda warned a girl," she turned towards Fraser.

Fraser cocked his head to one side. "Ray lives with that darkness every day of his life. Lives with the uncertainty of what is front of him. He doesn't have the luxury of opening his eyes and being able to see. But he confronts every hurdle he meets with courage and determination," he said. "Today a surgeon told him that an operation wouldn't help him, and that he will be blind for the rest of his life. And you," he stabbed a finger at Francesca angrily. "Want me to go to a movie with you." Fraser glared at Francesca.

"Jeez. Calm down. Will ya," Francesca protested. "I didn't know. OK?" She raised her eyes in annoyance. "God anyone would think you loved the guy and were sleeping with him."

Fraser narrowed his eyes at Francesca. Mind made up. "For the record, I happen to love Ray very much indeed. And he loves me," Fraser said quietly. "And our sexual relationship is wonderful and most satisfying. Thank you kindly." Francesca looked at the Mountie, her eyes wide her mouth dropping open. Fraser turned his back leaving the living room, meeting Ellen in the hallway.

"Ray's not in your room," she said worried. "We can't find him anywhere."

Fraser raced up the stairs. "Ray," he shouted. "Ray."

  


**************

  


Ray turned onto his side mumbling in his sleep. Feeling a sharp stab of pain in his side, he opened his eyes slowly to the eternal darkness that was his life. Rolling onto his back, Ray rubbed at his side trying to ease the pain. He sensed he was alone. 

He turned onto his good side burying his face in Fraser's pillow, his thin arms wrapped around his body. Random thoughts began to bombard his mind. Even after a year, he hadn't gotten used to his blindness, missing the everyday things he had once taken for granted. Ray longed to curl up and read a good book or just slump in front of the television to watch an old film or a hockey match. 

Ray hated the darkness feeling trapped and afraid; sometimes he felt so isolated and lonely that he just wanted to curl up and die. His thoughts turned to Fraser and he stifled a sob. He loved Fraser so much that it hurt, and he buried his head further into the pillow. He had been so excited at the thought of seeing again - of seeing Fraser's face again - that he had ignored the possibility that the operation wouldn't be a success. "Hell. Ya didn't even get that far," he thought bitterly to himself. "Ya suck and Ben deserves better."

He sat up his mind made up. Moving quietly around the room, he stuffed a few clothes into his holdall. He fumbled on the bedside table for the telephone; he screwed up his eyes in thought. Dialling a number from memory, he asked for a cab to meet him at the end of the street explaining his situation. 

Shrugging the holdall onto his shoulder, he felt for his hated white stick. Finding it near the door, he made his way slowly out of the bedroom towards the stairs. He listened; he could hear voices downstairs. He could hear Francesca Vecchio telling Ellen Welsh all about Fraser and how difficult it must be for him looking after a blind man. Ray bit his lip as he listened. "Ya doing the right thing Kowalski," he muttered to himself as he crept down the stairs. He slipped out of the back door, grateful that Fraser had made him learn ever inch of the house so he could get around easily.

Ray walked around the side of the house, his white stick running along the wall. He ducked back behind a large bush that he had brushed past as he heard Fraser and Welsh talking as they walked up the path towards the house. Ray heard the front door shut. "Goodbye Ben. I love ya," he whispered wiping at his eyes. Ray shook his head as he made his way slowly along the street, moving his stick left and right in front of him.

 

**************

  


Ellen Welsh watched as the usually calm and unruffled Mountie paced up and down her living room, his hands behind his back. "Benton. Why don't you sit down?" she suggested. "I'm sure Harding and his men will find Ray soon."

Fraser obeyed slumping onto the couch. He turned sad blue eyes towards the kind woman. "Why did he go? I don't understand," Fraser muttered. "I thought we were happy."

"I'm sure he'll be fine Benton,"Ellen soothed. "He's just very upset at the moment. May be he needed some time to think things through." 

"But he's alone," Fraser jumped up again resuming his pacing. "And he's afraid of the city."

Ellen stood up and moved towards Fraser. "Ray seems a very resourceful and independent type of person. I am sure he's fine and safe," she said firmly patting Fraser's arm.

Fraser nodded smiling weakly. "I am sure you're right. Ray will be fine," he said trying to convince himself. "But why did he feel he had to go?"

Ellen's reply was interrupted by Lieutenant Welsh entering the living room. He grinned broadly at Fraser. "We found him even though he made it difficult for us," Welsh announced. 

Fraser breathed a sigh of relief. "Difficult. How?" he asked curious despite being worried about Ray.

Welsh grinned again. "Turns out that our Mr. Kowalski had the first cab drop him at another cab company in the city. Huey and Dewey have spent half the afternoon trying to trace two cab drivers. Then they had to drive half way around the city to find the second driver who hadn't finished his shift," he explained. "They then had to persuade the driver to tell them where he was. Ray had given him a big tip to keep quiet." The lieutenant smirked at Fraser and Ellen. "Dewey had to tell him that Ray was an escaped lunatic. That scared the driver, and he admitted that he had helped Ray check into the Golden Bridge Hotel on Fourth and Mason."

"Is Ray alright? Have they talked to him?" Fraser babbled. "Is he still there?"

Welsh raised his hand. "Calm down Sergeant. You'll bust a blood vessel if you're not careful." The lieutenant pushed Fraser back towards the couch making him sit down. "Huey and Dewey checked with the receptionist. He's still there. And as far as they know he's OK."

Fraser let out another sigh, relieved that Ray was safe. "Would you kindly give me a lift to the hotel?" he asked. "If it's not too much trouble."

Welsh smiled. "Was just gonna offer you a ride. Let's get you over there so you can sort the skinny little bastard out," he said.

  


*************** 

  


Ray sat slumped in the armchair, his eyes closed. The cab driver had been very kind to him, helping him check into the hotel. He had assured Ray that the hotel was clean and had a fairly good reputation. 

Ray had given him a big tip as a thank you, and asked him not to tell anyone where he was. Ray's thoughts kept turning to Fraser, and he wrapped his arms around his body trying to stop the ache in his chest. Tears ran down his face as he tried to convince himself that leaving was the best thing to do. Fraser would be free of him; free to live his life without the burden of a blind man. 

"Pull yerself together Kowalski," he chastised himself as he stood up. The room was unfamiliar and Ray stumbled as he made his way towards the small bathroom. He felt his way around until he found the basin. Fumbling for the taps, he splashed some water on his face. Straightening up, he reached out in front of him, his finger tips touching the coldness of the mirror he knew would be there. He ran his fingers up and down the glass. Fresh tears stung at his eyes. "Can't even see yerself," he thought bitterly to himself. "Ya suck." His thoughts turned once again to Fraser, and the new tears ran down his face unchecked. Curling his slender hand into a fist, Ray smashed it hard into the mirror. He heard the glass shattering into the sink; his fist stung as the broken glass pierced his pale skin.

Ignoring the feel of warm blood trickling down his hand, Ray wrapped his arms tightly around his slender body as the dull ache in his chest threatened to overwhelm him. "Ben," he choked as he sunk to his knees sobbing wretchedly. 

  


**************

  


Fraser had sat silently in the car as the lieutenant drove him through the evening traffic to the hotel. He knew that Ray was desperately upset, and he cursed himself for going for a walk with Lieutenant Welsh. Ray had needed him and he had let him down. 

Welsh parked the car in front of the hotel. "Shall I wait for you?" he asked.

"No Lieutenant," Fraser replied. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?" Welsh asked.

"Yes," Fraser smiled. "If Ray won't talk to me, or doesn't.....doesn't want me, I'll call you."

"Kowalski will be an idiot if he doesn't want you," Welsh said. "Try and knock some sense into that thick skull of his."

"I'll try," Fraser promised smiling again opening the car door. As he went to shut the door, he bent down looking at the older man. "Thank you kindly Lieutenant. For everything."

"No problem Sergeant," Welsh saluted him.

 

**************

  


Fraser hesitated at the door to Ray's hotel room. Steeling his nerve, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. No answer. "Ray," he called. "It's Ben. Let me in." Fraser knocked again. Silence. "Ray. If you don't let me in, I will have no alternative, but to kick the door in," he shouted, his anger rising, as he banged on the door. 

The door swung open startling Fraser making him jump backwards. "What?" Ray snapped.

"Good evening Ray," Fraser said recovering his composure. He stepped past the slender man quickly before the door was slammed in his face. 

"How did ya find me?" Ray slammed the door shut turning to face Fraser his hand on his hip. "I tipped the driver fifty dollars not to tell anyone."

"Huey and Dewey told him that you were an escaped lunatic," Fraser said. "And Lieutenant Welsh kindly drove me over here so I could try and talk some sense into you." Ray pulled a face, and Fraser took a moment to study Ray; despite his defiant welcome Fraser could see that he had been crying, his eyes were red rimmed and swollen. He automatically reached forward to caress his partner's face, but Ray sensed the movement jerking his head away from Fraser's hand. "Ray," Fraser protested hurt at the action.

"Don't touch me," Ray snapped waving a hand in the air. "Just don't."

Fraser noticed that Ray was trying to hide his other hand up the sleeve of his blue sweater. His sharp eyes noted that it was untidily bandaged. "What happened to your hand?" he asked concerned. Out of the corner of his eye, Fraser also noticed that a blood stained sweatshirt had been thrown onto the bed.

"Nothing," Ray shook his head trying to pull his hand further up the sleeve of his sweater.

"Ray," Fraser scolded. "I'm not blind." He immediately cursed himself, biting his bottom lip at the thoughtless words.

Ray's blind eyes flashed with anger. "No yer not," he snapped. "Ya can leave the not..... not seeing to me."

"Ray. I'm sorry," Fraser stepped forward slowly. "I didn't mean that. Please tell me what you have done to your hand." Ray remained stubbornly silent glaring at Fraser. "Ray," Fraser pleaded moving closer to his partner. 

Ray sensed that Fraser was moving closer and took a step backwards. "Ya wanna know what I did to my hand?" he yelled. "Well I'll tell ya. I smashed the mirror in the bathroom because I couldn't see it. Happy now."

"No I am not happy," Fraser said moving towards his partner. "Have you had it seen to properly?" he asked.

"Nah. Did it myself," Ray stepped back again. "I may be blind, but I can look after myself."

"I know you can," Fraser replied calmly. "But I just want to check that you have removed all the glass."

"Just go home Ben," Ray muttered backing into the wall behind him. "And leave me alone."

Fraser felt his anger rising again, but pushed it down. "Go home. Go home," he said as calmly as he manage. "What do you mean go home and leave you alone? Do I mean so little to you? Has the last year meant nothing to you at all?"

Ray stared towards his feet. "Yes," he murmured quietly. "Of course it has."

Fraser stepped forwards knowing that Ray had nowhere to run to. "I didn't quite hear you," he shouted, his anger finally winning. "What did you say?"

Ray jerked his head up towards Fraser. "Yes. I said yes," he yelled. "Of course, it's meant..... meant something..... And ya mean..... mean the world to me. But I aint one of yer lost causes. Ya don't have to stay with me.... me outta some sort of Mountie-like..... duty. I told yer I didn't wanna be a burden. And I aint gonna be. Yer better off without a dumb blind man who's useless to everyone including himself," he spat bitterly.

"Lost cause," Fraser stuttered confused at the hurtful words. "You are not a lost cause or a burden. "And I am definitely not with you out of some sort of duty. Where an earth did you get a stupid idea like that?" he asked a fresh surge of anger rising within him.

Ray stared back down at his boots. "I heard Frannie telling Mrs. Welsh how hard it must be for ya...," he started to say.

"Francesca Vecchio has a big mouth," Fraser interrupted. Ray jerked his head up in surprise; he had never heard Fraser bad mouth anyone before. Fraser ignored the look. "I informed Francesca Vecchio in no uncertain terms exactly how I feel about you this evening. And for the record, you are definitely not dumb. I think you are the bravest person I know."

"But...," Ray started to say.

Fraser leant forward tapping Ray on his shoulder to get his attention. "Please be quiet and listen to me for a change," he said. Ray immediately became silent startled by the tone in his partner's voice. Fraser took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. "I resigned myself to being alone forever. I didn't think I would ever find love. Didn't think I deserved love. Then you came along. You have shared your love with me. Your laughter. And you have made me happier than I have ever been in my life," he said. 

"But I.... I can't see ya," Ray murmured. "I'll never be able to. And...and I wanted to. So.... so much that it hurts."

"I know," Fraser looked down biting his lip. 

The partners stood silently lost in their own thoughts struggling with their emotions, each afraid to reach out to the other.

"Mountie's don't cry. Mountie's don't cry," Fraser repeated to himself, but hot tears stung at his eyes at the thought of losing Ray - his love, his life. 

"Sorry. I just wanted.....," Ray murmured looking towards Fraser. "Ya know..."

Taking a deep breath to calm himself. "I know Ray. But I don't care if you can't see me. It's not important to me. It never was. What is important is that you are my life and I love you with all my heart," Fraser wiped at the tears that insisted on spilling from his blue eyes. "And if you went away, I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know... I couldn't..... I wouldn't....," Fraser stopped words failing him. 

Ray inclined his head towards the sound of Fraser's voice. It was a tone he didn't recognise and hadn't heard before; Fraser sounded lost, sad and lonely. He stepped forwards hesitantly reaching his hand towards Fraser's face. He brushed his finger tips over Fraser's cheek feeling the wetness of the tears. "Yer leaking," he said softly.

Fraser choked back a laugh grasping Ray's hand and kissing it. "I love you. Please don't go away," he sobbed. "I need you in my life."

"I love you too Ben," Ray wiped at Fraser's tears gently with the back of his hand. He pulled Fraser towards him into a gentle embrace. "I .... I just kinda thought that ya would be better off without me. I'm sorry I let ya down. I can't see, and ya deserve so much better than a blind......," he stammered.

"No," Fraser interrupted resting his head on Ray's thin shoulder. "I want you. I need you. Let me share your tears as well your love and laughter," he sobbed.

"Yer kinda doing that for me," Ray teased as he gently caressed the back of Fraser's head. Fraser choked back another laugh as Ray tenderly rubbed his back whispering soothing words. 

Fraser lifted his head claiming Ray's lips in a passionate kiss. Ray ran his tongue along Fraser's lips requesting entry. Fraser moaned as he let Ray into his mouth hugging the slender man tightly. The partners lost in the passionate kiss moved as one towards the large double bed dominating the centre of the room. They tumbled onto its softness gently caressing each other.

Breaking the kiss. "What about Welsh?" Ray asked.

"I don't want to make love to Lieutenant Welsh," Fraser said claiming Ray's lips again.

"Ben," Ray giggled

"I'll call him later," Fraser murmured against Ray's neck. He bit softly marking Ray as his. With practised hands, they removed each other's clothes flinging them onto the floor. Ray ran his hands up and down Fraser's body, his finger tips memorising every sinew and muscle. "Ray," Fraser breathed as he straddled his slender partner. His lips claimed Ray's hungrily as he pushed his arousal against Ray's thigh. Ray moaned thrusting his tongue into Fraser's mouth exploring.

Breaking free from the kiss, Fraser licked his way down Ray's neck to his shoulder. His tongue then traced a path towards Ray's nipples. His mouth engulfed one nipple sucking until it became hard. Ray groaned in ecstasy as Fraser turned his attention to the other nipple sucking gently. Ray arched his back off the bed at the delicious sensation. Fraser lifted his head looking up at his lover; Ray had his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open. Smiling, he trailed his tongue down Ray's smooth skin, twirling it around the muscles of Ray's stomach. Ray was silently chanting his name, running his hands through Fraser's dark hair. He cried out as Fraser took his penis into his mouth licking up and down the length. Fraser sucked hard on his prize running his tongue along the slit leaking with pre-cum.

"Oh God," Ray moaned. "I love ya."

Fraser gently fondled Ray's balls, pressing his knuckle into the soft skin behind. Ray cried out his name as he came long and hard, spurting his semen deep into Fraser's waiting mouth. Fraser swallowed delighting in the taste of his Ray. With a last thrust, Ray sunk into the bed panting hard. Fraser gave Ray's penis a last lick, and pulled himself up level with Ray's face. He gently brushed his lips against Ray's cheek.

"You taste wonderful Ray," he murmured against the soft skin. "And I love you as well."

Ray smiled towards Fraser's voice. Pulling Fraser on top of him. "Make love to me," he breathed spreading his legs wide. "Want ya."

"Oh Ray," Fraser sighed his cock aching to be inside his lover. "I want you too." Kissing Ray's face tenderly, he settled himself between Ray's legs. He carefully pushed a wetted finger into Ray moving it slowly up and down the tight channel. Encouraged by Ray's gentle moaning, he inserted a second and third finger. Ray ran his hands up and down Fraser's arms, lifting his hips to meet Fraser's finger penetration.

"Now," he murmured capturing Fraser's lips in a passionate kiss. "Take me now." He thrust his tongue in and out of Fraser's mouth, licking and sucking at his lover's lips. "Take me now Ben."

Fraser growled deep in his throat at the pleading from his lover. Positioning himself at Ray's opening, he pushed the head of his penis carefully into the tight channel. Ray lifted his hips off the bed to meet the initial penetration. "You feel good," Fraser murmured as he gently pushed his cock deeper into his lover.

"God so do ya," Ray whispered as he ran his hands down to Fraser's ass pressing his finger between the cheeks, teasing Fraser with his finger tips. Fraser growled again as he plunged further into Ray.

Ray squeaked in delight as Fraser's penis brushed his prostate. Fraser smiled as he began a gentle rhythm, pulling his penis upwards, and then thrusting downwards as he propelled himself into Ray. Ray squirmed under Fraser moaning his name over and over. Fraser could feel his balls tighten, and he thrust furiously in and out of his partner. He cried out as he felt his penis pulse, releasing his semen deep into Ray's waiting body. "Oh Ray. Oh Ray," he cried as his orgasm overtook him, the muscles in his legs tightening as he buried himself deep in his partner. With a final spasm, Fraser slumped down on Ray trying to control his breathing. Ray gently caressed his back whispering loving words to him.

Opening his eyes, Fraser rolled onto his side carefully pulling his softening penis out of Ray's body. He drew Ray into a tight embrace, kissing him lightly on the nose. Ray returned the kiss cuddling close to Fraser. "Love ya," he murmured.

"I love you too Ray," Fraser replied nuzzling Ray's neck. "And Ray."

"Yeh," Ray murmured sleepily.

"I still want to examine your hand," Fraser said.

"I hate ya," Ray teased.

"Understood," Fraser grinned pulling Ray closer to his warmth, hooking his leg possessively over Ray's slender thigh.

  


***************

  


It was still dark even though it was early morning; Fraser had prepared the dogs and the sledge. He watched as Ray made his way towards their barn, one hand lightly running along the rope that Fraser had put up to mark the way from their house to the barn. He carried his rucksack carefully under his other arm. Diefenbaker and Chicago were excitedly prancing along in front of the slender blonde looking back occasionally to make sure that Ray was still following. Fraser patted his pocket making sure that the small velvet box was still safely there. Satisfied, he grinned foolishly to himself. 

"What's in the bag?" Fraser asked curious as Ray reached his side.

"Supplies," Ray answered grinning mysteriously. . He leaned towards Fraser's voice kissing him lightly on the lips. "So ya got everything?" he asked already knowing that Fraser would have everything organised as always.

"Of course," Fraser replied primly. 

"Just checking," Ray teased as Fraser settled him under a blanket on the sledge, the bag balanced on his lap. Climbing on the back of the sledge, Fraser whistled to their team of dogs setting off towards the edge of the small town, Diefenbaker and Chicago running behind barking in excitement.

After two hours, Fraser stopped the sledge. Their team of dogs slumped into the snow. Diefenbaker and Chicago bounced around in the snow chasing each other and yipping in delight.

Looking around, Fraser decided that this would be the perfect place. The silence was overwhelming; no houses, no people just snow that stretched for miles around them. In the distance, Fraser could see a small forest, the green of the trees rising out of the whiteness. Fraser thought it was beautiful - the perfect setting. 

"We're here," he beamed helping Ray to climb from the sledge. Fraser bit his lip as a sudden sadness gripped him; he wished with all his heart that Ray could see the beauty surrounding him. 

Ray seemed to sense the reason for Fraser's silence. "Don't," he said touching Fraser's face. "Let's not spoil this moment by wishing for things we can't have." He felt Fraser nod his head. "Ya can see it for me as well. And ya can paint me a picture later."

Fraser smiled, his sadness turning to love at the sight of his partner. Ray had pushed his anorak hood back, and his blonde hair was sticking up wildly, as usual. He was beaming, his blue eyes sparkling with love and happiness. "You're right Ray," Fraser agreed quietly caressing the slender fingers that had lingered on his face. "This is our moment. Our one moment in time."

Ray retrieved his rucksack, carefully taking out a small box. Fraser looked over his shoulder as Ray removed the lid. A small chocolate cake nestled in the box; the top was decorated with the RCMP crest surrounded by brightly coloured M&M's. "Ya can't have a wedding without a cake," Ray grinned. "Ilid made it for us."

Fraser laughed. "I can see you helped with the decoration," he teased.

Ray grinned replacing the box lid. "And," he delved into the rucksack again producing a thermos flask and two mugs. "We can toast each other with some of yer bark tea."

"Perfect," Fraser leaned forward kissing Ray lightly on the nose.

"Is it time yet?" Ray asked impatiently.

Fraser looked up to the sky. "Nearly Ray," he took the small velvet box out of his pocket. Opening it, he took out the two gold bands that Harding and Ellen Welsh had given them. 

The rings had belonged to Ellen's parents, and she had insisted that Ray and Fraser have them. She had told the partners that she considered them to be the sons she and Harding had never been able to have. Fraser and Ray had accepted the rings promising to honour the love that the bands represented. Fraser placed the larger of the two bands in Ray's open hand.

Fraser whistled to Diefenbaker and Chicago; the wolves raced over to the partners. They sat down looking up expectantly at the two partners. Fraser looked towards the small forest in the distance. He could see the sky slowly turning orange as the sun began to rise above the trees.

"Is it time yet?" Ray asked again.

Fraser smiled at Ray's characteristic impatience. "Yes Ray. It's time. The sun is just about to rise over a small forest in the distance," he turned Ray towards the sunrise.

Ray grinned. "Hey. It's kinda cool," he said looking back towards where he knew Fraser was standing. "Ya know. Making our vows as the sun rises. A sorta ....ya know..... a new beginning." 

"I know Ray," Fraser grinned. "Just you and me." Diefenbaker and Chicago looked up at Fraser barking in protest. Ray giggled as Fraser groaned in exasperation. "Well alright. You're our witnesses," Fraser conceded patting each of the wolves in turn. 

"It's time," Fraser moved close taking Ray's left hand in his. He looked into Ray's sightless eyes. "Ray. I pledge myself to you. You rescued me from a life of loneliness. I will protect you. Cherish you. And love you for all of eternity," he promised as he slipped the gold band on to Ray's ring finger.

Fraser offered Ray his left hand. Ray smiled shyly as he accepted the larger hand. He gently caressed Fraser's face, seeing with touch. "Ben. I pledge myself to ya. Yer the light in my darkness. I will share my laughter. My tears. And my love with ya forever," he promised. Lowering his hand, he slipped the matching gold ring onto Fraser's finger.

Fraser leaned forward kissing Ray tenderly, his arms wrapping around the slender body. Ray leaned into the kiss, his arms returning the embrace. Diefenbaker and Chicago bounced happily around the partners as Ray and Fraser sealed their promises with a kiss. 

In the distance, the sunrise exploded into the darkness lighting up the sky with bursts of bright oranges, yellows, reds and golds. The light reflected off the whiteness of the snow bathing the lovers in a warm light, surrounding them as the darkness and the loneliness lifted from their souls joining them in love forever. 

  
  


THE END

  
  
  
  
  
  


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